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Sleep Forever

Here I am again, hiding away from the mistakes I've made. I never thought all these little things would add up but a tonne of feathers still weighs a tonne. It seems to be a very concentrated tonne of feathers as well, like  a pillow used in a malicious pillow fight, it seems very light hearted at first but when it hits you, you absolutely move. The funniest thing about making mistakes is that you don't always realise that you even made one. Somehow ignorance seems to be a family member of mistake and sometimes like kissing cousins they get together and makes everything just a little bit more uncomfortable than things appear for someone on the outside. It isn't romantic in nature but all the connotations with kissing makes it more than it needs to be and that makes for awkward family gatherings. A question that has been bothering me is; "Where does our childlike innocence disappear off to ?". Why do we lose it in the first place? Does it disappear with the cumul...
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Moby Dick

Here I am again, with a mind running into the void. It's not as scary as you would think, until you look back. Where did you just take yourself? Somehow I feel like I went down a corridor and all the doors on the sides have all these moments that are hidden behind a lock for a reason. It's interesting too have painful and bittersweet memories so close to each other. In these rooms the attention to little details surrounding the events are so vivid at first glance but the more you try to focus on them the more blurry they become and you start sliding backwards out of the door with your feet providing no friction to something you wish you could get back. You're back in the corridor and the door all of a sudden has an additional lock on it. You can just go back in but you know this is process that'll just keep repeating so you rather just move on. Moving on is different for everyone and every situation, some just repress and regress and others try to observe their mistak...

It Might Be Over Soon

Here I am again, romanticising 3 AM. The fire in your den lights up just to the thick black curtain that holds all the mysteries of the night. What is out there? Are you alone in this den? Do you need more people to start your tribe or are you up, protecting them from the strangers in the night? Do you need to give a safe haven to some of these lost souls wandering the deep depths of this world of yours? Isn't it interesting how we just connect to people that seem to be strangers? We feel silly for thinking it might be that this person is just something new and shiny, maybe even a new element we get to inspect. It's not like us to usually obsess over something new, is it? But that's exactly it and sometimes it can be a terrible thing. Overexposure to something you don't completely understand could be detrimental to your health in the end. The other side of the same coin is true too at least. Sometimes things are entirely made of blissfilled moments with a stranger, ther...

Never Enough

Here I am again, too scared to actually pick up the bottle. Why drown yourself in sorrow if you can enjoy it while being sober, right? The idea to feel absolutely numb is very attractive but what will I learn from that? It seems this is one lesson I just keep relearning though. This is a different pain to the others, I was fooled into thinking this one was going to be different. In a blur of excitement everything can change so quickly. That's the big problem with having a literal bleeding heart, you care too quick and everything is veiled with good intentions and seeing the best in people. Even when you have a peek behind the veil and see the hurt and pain of others you feel honoured by the idea that you are being trusted with what you are seeing. The deceiving part of all this is that veils aren't for covering the face permanently, so you still get to see the good intentions and the best in the person when it comes off but it gets mixed in with the hurt and pain. You focus...